10 Reasons It’s Hard For Smart Women To Find Love

Finding love is not an easy feat for anyone. If you are a woman who is of a higher intellect, chances are you have had an even harder time finding a fulfilling relationship. Society tends to think less of a woman who is single, as if there is something inherently wrong with them. This is definitely not the case. Below are 10 reasons why it can be harder for smart women to find love.

1. They aren’t afraid to be by themselves.

Smart women know what they want and aren’t willing to settle for anything less. They know the importance of staying true to themselves and they also realize that sacrificing their needs for the sake of love with the wrong person will only cause resentment in the long run. They do not have to settle out of fear of being alone, or fear of social implications by others’ who do not understand a woman’s ability to be by herself, and be happy.

2. They know what they want.

Every woman has a mental “checklist” of what they are looking for in a significant other. A smart woman’s checklist tends to be either longer or more specific than those who want a significant other, just to have a significant other. They know themselves and in turn know what type of person they can and can’t be with.

3. They don’t need another person to facilitate their lifestyle.

The past portrays that women needed to go straight from their father’s house to their husband’s. In the modern world women no longer need another person to help them live on their own; they may have realized they prefer that alone time. Therefore, knowing that they will eventually have to share that space can be scary for an independent woman.

4. They have other commitments that take priority over dating.

Careers, friendships, family, extra-curricular pursuits, whatever it is that she has going on may not allow for as much time to date as it takes to find the right mate.

5. They are hyper-aware that relationships end and can let their knowledge of the past affect their future potential relationships.

They have a harder time “living in the moment” and do not want to waste their time; as time truly is a valuable asset to a smart woman. They need to know that there is a future and that their potential mate is on the same page. Marriages, kids, finances, etc.

6. They know that attraction is only half the battle.

Physical attraction is an important aspect to finding love, but smart women understand that attraction is fleeting and can be altered once you see what is underneath. While a woman’s hormones tend to make the first step towards finding love, smart women understand that it is the intimacy developed (and maintained) by both people that dictates whether or not a relationship can last.

7. They can be intimidating.

When a woman is intelligent she isn’t afraid to stand up and say what she thinks. This is a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow. Whether it’s because they don’t know how to react, or if it’s because they don’t feel they can live up to her expectations; either way it can be somewhat intimidating for potential lovers and even friends.

8. They understand Change.

They don’t pretend that they, and their partners, will be the same person years down the road. They want to grow and they have ambitions for their futures that will change who they are, and ultimately, what they want. Knowing this makes it harder for a woman to commit to a partner for a long period of time.

9. They have a vast understanding of the modern dating practices and don’t necessarily like, nor agree, with them.

Dating is no longer a means of survival for women. As stated before, since we no longer need to be passed from father to husband as well as we have the capability to live alone – dating is truly meant to find a companion whom you love and want to share your life, interests, and future with.

10. They know not to trust their hearts with just anyone.

This reason is the culmination of all of the ways it is harder for smart women to find love. Deciding whether someone is worthy of an intelligent woman’s heart is not an easy task and we do not take it lightly. Intelligent women have to weigh the pro’s and con’s and decide if the risk of loving another person is worth the devastation that can occur if it doesn’t work out.

Featured photo credit: A portrait of the biologist as a young woman- 4466. Always Shooting via flickr.com

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VR6 GTI Update, 2015 Recap, Plans for 2016, Episode 120

Today we are taking a look back at the amazing year that way 2015. Last year was an amazing year for me both personally and professionally. We will also be looking ahead to what 2016 will bring for the show, for me and my fellow VW techs, and the VR6 GTI aka “Project White Wookie”....

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Why Happiness Comes Before Success

"I'll be happy when I become successful." is one of those thoughts I think we all hold at one point, in different variations.

We feel like the destination will give us the feeling of satisfaction we desire, yet this way of thinking might actually be counter to our nature, as human beings.

You see, according to Happiness Researcher and New York Times bestselling author Shawn Achor, this way of thinking (success brings happiness) actually goes against the brain's natural tendency which is to perform better under the influence of dopamine, and worse under the influence of cortisol.

You might already know dopamine is the “happiness” hormone; it's release in the body is caused by positive emotions, laughter, good food, and things of that nature. :)

And cortisol being the opposite side of the coin, it's release is triggered by stress in all its forms as well.

Taking the time to celebrate small achievements is important.

Usually as soon as that happens it's on to the next one, satisfaction often doesn't last long, so how do we expect the often too abstract concept of "success" to bring about any "happiness" if all we do is push it back further and further once we get too close. The idea is not to reach your goal, be content for ever and stop trying to maximize your potential, but think about how marathon runners wouldn't enjoy marathons if the finish line kept being pushed back every time they came close.

It’s good to feel the ribbon across your waist from time to time.

If Achor's research is any indication, it would seem that our brains actually evolved to use happiness as a kind of spring-board from which to reach success, whatever that may look like for you. In his 2011 Tedx talk Achor says:

"Dopamine which floods into your system when you're positive has two functions, not only does it make you happier but it turns on all of the learning centers in your brain. Allowing you to adapt to the world in a different way."

So essentially, dopamine is to the brain what oil is to cogs in a machine.

Being in a state of happiness would let you perform better, and in essence facilitate your success.

Achor calls this the happiness advantage. 

How much of an advantage? Well how about:

• More brain-power
• More creativity
• More energy

All these buffs have been measured on people whose brains were under the influence of dopamine. So don't scoff at happiness in the face of your goals, despite your goals still being goals.

Maybe instead of chasing money or chasing status what we should be really chasing, is happiness…

Cheesy I know, who would have thought science would back this up. :)

Finally, there's a lot of advice out there on how to find your happiness, but if I could suggest just one thing to you:

Try not to worry about circumstances or events you have no control over. 

If you find that the outcome of a situation is definitely not in your hands, then do put the relevant authorities in charge of the situation for you, whoever that might be, If it's not your fight, might as well spare the energy for things you do have the power to influence.

You never know what lies ahead for you, a shit-storm might turn out to be a perfect-storm, you can’t ever know in advance, but that's what makes life worth living. :)

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Alex Mombo is an author & blogger. He loves engineering, playing music, reading personal development litterature and wants to help you find ways to express yourself more fully at www.newconfidentlife.com

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3 Signs That You’re Hanging Onto Something Toxic

When is it time to let go? Or more specifically, how do we know when to stop doing things that don’t contribute to our long-term plans?

I used to have a hard time realizing what had worth, and what was thoroughly worthless.

Whether it was an activity, a class, a person, etc., I just couldn’t let it go. I had a problem with being loyal. Not that I was disloyal, but rather too loyal. I used to feel guilty when dropping things after I’d start them, and for a long time I would suffer through them just to avoid the guilt of being a “quitter.” My internal judge serves up a gnarly guilt sandwich. Maybe yours does too?

For example, I used to play in a slow-pitch softball league. It was just once a week and I liked it at first, but after a while it started to feel like an unnecessary burden. And worse still, it consumed one of my nights and did not contribute to a single one of my goals. Even though I knew this, I kept signing up season after season. I didn’t want to let the guys on my team down.

But, I’ve come to realize something—there is a time to say “no.”

Think of the time you are throwing away engaging in things that you don’t really want. Instead, think what you could be doing that moves you closer to your objectives.

Here are three clues that you might be holding onto something toxic that’s pulling you in the wrong direction and keeping you from your goals.

1. Always On Your Mind

Do you constantly monitor the day in which you have deal with it? Like an alarm clock in your mind constantly reminding you that this thing is fast approaching. Is it always on your mind, but in a bad way?

And apart from keeping tabs on it, do you also feel relieved knowing that right after you deal with it, you get a break until the next time you have to deal with it?

If so, it’s time to take a closer look.

**Don’t mistake this for a passion that you thoroughly enjoy. That’s okay. You want to focus on things that will take you in the direction that you want to go**

2. Left With Less

No, I’m not talking about your last trip to Las Vegas. I mean, when you leave this thing, do you feel worse than before you got there? Actually, that sounds a lot like Vegas, doesn’t it? Get that out of your mind already…

Here’s what I’m getting at. Do you feel less confident? Does it suck the positivity out of you? In general, does it rob from your motivational bank account?

Those are serious symptoms that are trying to tell you something. Listen. 

3. No Clear Purpose

Do you even remember the reason for doing it? Is there a clear goal you are trying to achieve by partaking in it?

For personal growth, there will be challenging endeavors which are intended to make you stronger. After all, when you first start something new it can be frustrating. I mean, who wants to suck at something? Nobody. But in these cases, it’s important to know why you are challenging yourself and to have clear intentions for what you hope to accomplish.

For example, maybe you have a problem speaking in front of groups. What you can do is find a Toastmasters club and join it. It’s not easy and it can be frustrating at times, but have a reason for doing it and you’ll be fine. The reason might be to communicate clearly or become better at selling your ideas. Once you reach competency, you can move on.

Using the same example above, there’s a good chance that you’d dread going if you didn’t have a clear objective for doing so. It would seem like needless suffering (If you’ve spoke in front of an audience before, you know what I mean).

So, set a clear purpose in all things that you do.

Understand that just one of these symptoms is enough to put an axe to it. A perfect three-for-three, though, is grounds for ending it with a vengeance.

You’ll know when you’ve made the right choice because of how you’ll feel after saying goodbye. It will feel like someone yanked a ten-ton-truck off your shoulders and then served you a chocolate sundae. Yummy.

Start your detox. Do what’s best for you and your vision; throw out the rest that's holding you back. 

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Matt Kramer had an extreme fear of public speaking that nearly crippled his hope, but overcoming it has changed his life. His passion is simple: To help others crush the fear of public speaking so they can use the confidence to capture their dreams. Visit Matt's blog to get tips on how to overcome the fear of public speaking.

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This Is Exactly What It’s Like To Be A Woman, Explained In 10 Illustrations.

Artist named Agustina Guerrero draws funny illustrations about everyday life led by women all round the world. She is very talented and observant enough to notice every little details that guys might have missed.

Her drawings are straight-forward and hit right to the point that all women can relate themselves to them. She includes not only daily habits or struggles that girls might go through repetitively but also illustrated their psychological and emotional changes in situations like arguments and datings.

They are simple yet powerful enough to explain what’s like to be a woman even man could easily understand.

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Why People Who Cry Often Are Actually Mentally Stronger

Tears have always been looked down upon as signs of weakness & self-pity. But what many ten to ignore that crying is a natural state of expression while it’s natural for you to rejoice when something good is happening to you, it’s natural that you would cry when you are passing through testing times.

There is nothing to be ashamed of when you are crying and in no way your tearful outburst makes you a weak & unstable person. In fact, it’s said that people who cry often are actually mentally stronger. Is it true? Well, find it yourself from the pointers below.

They aren’t scared to show their emotions

If something great happens to you, say a promotion, won’t you smile and jump with joy? Similarly, if you have a breakup, it’s only real that you would burst out into tears. People who cry understand that crying and sadness is just an expression of emotions as smile or happiness is – and they are never afraid to show their true emotions.

They understand this basic thing that they are human & when they cry, they have this courage to explain themselves in their own ways beyond the typical run-of-the mill behavioral norm template of the society.

They understand tears are sole cleansers

While tears are condemned as signs of weakness, these actually come up with sole-cleansing properties. Yes, people who cry are actually stronger because they can let go off their stress through tears which helps them to feel a lot lighter and keep them mentally grounded.

The more you suppress your sorrow or sadness, more would be the emotional burden for you. Crying relieves the mind from negative emotions just as saliva is released from trumpet.

They know that crying helps them to feel good

Yes, call it a paradox or the irony of life yet crying can actually make a person feel good. A lot of studies taken on crying have revealed that people who cry have said that the very expression helps them to feel better and happy. How is that even possible? Well, actually the act of crying stimulates the brain to release the fee-good hormone endorphin which in turn a sense of calmness, joy & relief.

Crying even lowers the manganese levels in the body that might exasperate the body & brain if left exposed to for too long. Crying does not mean end of your problem. But people who cry knows that as crying leaves them with calmness and a happy feel, they get to think over the problem with a clearer & lighter mind.

They don’t bother about typical societal roles

A lot of people are afraid to cry out given the social stigma attached with the act. Men are almost banished of found crying and women too are looked down upon as a wreck or somebody who seeks too much of attention from others.

But the truth is not all women who cry are unstable and crying does not make one any less of a man. So, those who cry are brave enough to think beyond the typical societal stigmas which echo their mental strength.

They encourage others to be true with their feelings

People who are not afraid to cry encourage others to be true to their feelings, like them. They make people feel comfortable around them which enable one to be at his or her true self.

You would be amazed to know that tears not only release the negative emotions but also releases toxins, kill off 90-95% bacteria in 5-10 minutes & help to improve vision. So, it won’t be over stretching to infer that people who cry are not only emotionally stronger but are healthier and smarter as well.

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Women’s Everyday Struggles Illustrated In 15 Comics.

Life for girls can be tough especially when you try to master a smoky eyes make-up by following latest beauty videos, or when you open your full loaded closet but you feel like nothing to wear!

These illustrations by Cassandra Calin talk about everyday problems of girls, they hit straight to the point that every girl would feel highly relatable! Ladies, you are not alone and we are here for ya! Instead of feeling frustrated about being a girl, why not laugh at ourselves and make some more fun in life? #wegotyou

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