Tuesday 31 May 2016

How to Never Quit Learning Something New

You're reading How to Never Quit Learning Something New, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


How To Never Quit Learning Something New


the importance of education


Learning something new is never easy.


We're often comfortable with what we already know, and entering the unknown can make many of us feel uncertainty, whether we're learning a new language, new sport, or activity.


But with the right resources, anyone of us can learn something new without quitting ever again. This is what we call overcoming "The Dip."


Overcoming “The Dip”


Bestselling author and entrepreneur, Seth Godin shares when is the right time to quit something versus when we should persist. In his book, he talks about the most common reasons why most people quit before they reach their full potential, which can be very useful to know before it happens to you.


the dip


According to Godin, these are the five reasons why you might fail to overcome “The Dip.”


1. You run out of time (and quit)

2. You run out of money (and quit)

3. You get scared (and quit)

4. You're not serious about it (and quit)

5. You lose interest (and quit)


You can apply these reasons to common situations, including learning a new language, starting your own business, or getting in shape.



As you follow the progression of the cycle one goes through while learning something new, you can see that the "Crisis" mode is the most significant, as it can lead to one of 3 moves:



  1. You quit.

  2. You accept the crisis and go through an extended crisis.

  3. You re-construct, recover, and transform yourself to reach a higher standard than when you started.


As we continue our learning journey, “The Dip” is something we will continuously face. The faster we can get ourselves out of “Crisis” mode, and into “Transformation” mode will determine the potential of the talent we can reach at the skill.


How To Make It Stick When We Learn Something New


Mindset > Skills


You can have all the resources and skills in the world, but they're not much without the right mindset.


Carol Dweck, who's the bestselling author of Mindset, talks about what's known as the Growth Mindset.


According to Dweck, humans can have one of two mindsets: Growth mindset or Fixed mindset. She differentiates the two here:


A “fixed mindset” assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can't change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled.


A “growth mindset,” on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of un-intelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.


growth mindset


If you're thinking about quitting or giving up, remember that you're undergoing a process of growing, and struggle is part of the path to mastery.


Figure Out How You Learn Best


Just like you wouldn't expect a basketball player to be the best juggler, we shouldn't expect everyone to learn the same.


Some of us learn better by listening to an audio recording, while others would be bored out of their minds.


Studies have shown that there are seven main learning styles:



  • Visual (spatial): You prefer using pictures, images, and spatial understanding.

  • Aural (auditory-musical): You prefer using sound and music.

  • Verbal (linguistic): You prefer using words, both in speech and writing.

  • Physical (kinesthetic): You prefer using your body, hands and sense of touch.

  • Logical (mathematical): You prefer using logic, reasoning and systems.

  • Social (interpersonal): You prefer to learn in groups or with other people.

  • Solitary (intrapersonal): You prefer to work alone and use self-study.


It's safe to assume that the way you are learning today may not be your ideal way of learning, and that you should experiment for yourself what your best style of learning is.


For example, if you're an adult, there's exciting research that shows adults can be as good, if not better, than children at learning a language. This depends on the right learning method of adults, whether they use immersion versus memorization, and their ability to continue learning. One of the key explanations for this is that adults have more experience than children at understanding how we best learn something new, versus children who are only figuring it out.


Figure out how you learn best by recalling the moments when you retained the most information from a learning session, while experimenting and analyzing new styles of learning moving forward.


Learn By Doing


Think about how you learned how to ride a bicycle, swim at the pool, or learn your first language. You learned it by doing.


As we shared in our post on how to remember more, a study done by the National Training Laboratories Institute revealed that:


5% of what they learn when they've learned from a lecture (i.e. university/college lectures)

10% of what they learn when they've learned from reading (i.e. books, articles)

20% of what they learn from audio-visual (i.e. apps, videos)

30% of what they learn when they see a demonstration

50% of what they learn when engaged in a group discussion.

75% of what they learn when they practice what they learned.

90% of what they learn when they use immediately (or teach others)


the learning pyramid


Give yourself the best shot at learning faster and retaining more skill/information by completely immersing yourself in the activity, instead of relying on theory (i.e. books, videos, courses).


If you're learning a foreign language, speak it with other native speakers.

If you're learning how to program, learn it by creating your own website.

And so forth...


Summary


As for next steps, pick something hat you've been wanting to learn. Then refer to the 3 steps we shared in this post:



  1. Mindset > Skills

  2. Figure out how you learn best

  3. Learn by doing


Follow-up reading recommendation:



You've read How to Never Quit Learning Something New, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

6 Ways To Deal With Rejection Positively

You're reading 6 Ways To Deal With Rejection Positively, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


6 Ways To Deal With Rejection Positively


how to face rejection


It is pretty much a given that all of us will have to face a lot of rejection, criticism and even ridicule at different times in our lives. If it is constant and happens for a long time, eventually it will lead to a situation where we start doubting our worth and our capabilities.


For people with low self esteem this is an even more grave issue as they may stop believing in themselves much sooner and thereby harm their prospects in the future. Even for people who have reasonable self confidence, getting criticized and ridiculed over and over again will sooner or later dent their self worth.


So what can one do in order to keep marching on despite ridicule and rejection? Well here are six tips that can be immensely useful.


1) Realize that there is a difference between facts and opinions.


A lot of things people say are opinions rather than facts. The difference between the two is that facts are universal, they hold true no matter what the condition. While an opinion is subject, it differs from person to person.


For example - The Earth is round is a fact (Even if you are a flat Earther!) Whether a person is good looking or not is an opinion.


Earth being round is a fact and it will continue being so until it is destroyed.


On the other hand if someone thinks you are not good looking, it doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't. Maybe you are attractive to another person or in a different culture.


Most of the problems people will have with you will be based on opinions not facts. Don't let them bog you down.


2) Try to understand why the other person thinks the way they think.


Sometimes we confuse our own opinions with facts. We think that just because something is right in our opinion, everyone else should agree with it. Not the case.


You have to be willing to see things from the point of view of the other person. Sometimes you have to realize don't fit in with the other person's needs and you don't have to take it personally.


Suppose you get rejected for an interview, try and get feedback. Also ask yourself whether you would truly hire someone like yourself. Do you truly fit in with the needs of the company. Most of the times you will realize there is a discrepancy between would the company needs and what you are giving them.


But maybe a different company is looking for exactly what you are able to give them. Don't take things personally, keep moving forward!


3) Remind yourself of all the things you are good at.


Einstein once said that if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will go through its entire life thinking its stupid.


The main cause of people suffering from low self confidence which lowers further with ridicule or criticism is that they are only focusing on things that are not their strengths. Look, the fact is you can't be great at everything, in fact you will probably suck at most things. But that doesn't mean you are a failure because there are always a few things in the world which you are supremely talented at.


There is always one thing where you are the Guru and even the Gurus of the other fields will look up to you when it comes to that thing. When you introspect and find out that thing at which you are amazing, you will realize how special you are. You are immensely blessed!


4) Ask people to clarify why they rejected you.


This is one of the best ways in order to differentiate between facts and opinions. If someone's logic for saying no to you is not validm, it will be evident with the kind of reasoning they use. If all they are making is excuses, they will not have a single valid concrete reason for saying no. If their reasoning does not make sense, there is no point to feel bad about it because they are saying no based on opinions not facts


If they have a valid answer, it is actually useful to you. Sometimes the brutally honest answer may even end up hurting you, but if it's based on facts, correct it. If not, reject it. If you improve yourself based on the facts you hear, it will be incredibly useful to you in the future, even if it is not particularly present to hear in the present!


5) Stop Over thinking!


Once you have understood the reality of the situation and differentiated between what is true and what is not, you need to move on. Do not keep thinking about it or focusing on it beyond the point where the situation was under control or you were receiving valuable feedback. The more you give unnecessary attention to it, the worse the cycle of rumination will get. You may even fall into a cycle of depression if you don't snap out of it quickly enough.


If you can move on quickly without wasting time on over thinking, you can then focus on productive things that will actually pay off in the future. Remember, that getting feedback and then taking action to correct the problem may help solve it but over thinking only complicates problems, it never solves them. Refocus on something else and don't waste your time dwelling on negativity.


6) Realize that one can make you feel horrible or depressed unless you give them the power to do so.


Anything said by someone else is simply an arrangement of words and words do not mean anything unless you decide you want to give importance to what is being said. When you allow meaningless words to get inside your brain and choose to give importance to them, it is only then they can start bothering you and make you feel depressed. However, you can also consciously choose to deflect them and move on with your life.


Some of the most influential personalities have been humiliated and rejected. Edison was called mentally inept. Oprah Winfrey was called unfit for television. Amitabh Bachchan, the famous Bollywood actor was told that his voice sucked. Today it is his distinct deep voice that sets him apart from everyone else. Arnold Schwarzenegger was told, his accent was too weird. But he gained much attention in popular culture because of the same accent.


All of these people turned the attacks into them into motivation to prove their critics wrong and succeed. And succeed amazingly they did!


Conclusion.


I hope you have gained some useful information for this piece. Analyze what's said and if they seem to be true then use that as useful information and make a positive change.


If they are mere opinions with no basis in reality or could differ from person to person, then ignore them and move on in the right direction with a determination to prove your critics wrong.


Finally, if there is one thing you should always keep in mind is that the world remembers the doors, not the people who threw stones at them.


Use people's stones to build your staircase to success. Let them do what they do best, while you do what you do best. They will waste their time going green with jealousy while you shine in your success.


They will be forgotten, while the rest of the world will begin to look up to you. Remember that  one can pull you down when you are truly determined to climb high!


So what are you waiting for? Go create your  history!


----------------


Anubhav Srivastava is an author, speaker and the director of Carve Your Destiny, a first of its kind, comprehensive motivational movie on the principles of success. It has been seen on Youtube by a million people.  Visit Anubhavsrivastava.com for his inspirational blog for more great content and to watch the Film.


You've read 6 Ways To Deal With Rejection Positively, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

5 Reasons I Think About Death As Often As I Can

You're reading 5 Reasons I Think About Death As Often As I Can, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


5 Reasons I Think About Death As Often As I Can


meaning of life


I think about death. A lot. On any given day, I consciously embrace my existential fate an innumerable amount of times. This usually occurs when I become aware of myself not being or living as I would like to be or live, in the sense that I'm not emulating the potential I would like to see in myself, or enjoying (or when that is not possible, dealing with) the life I have to live. Reminding myself that Death hovers over my shoulders waiting for his time to swoop me from this plane of existence allows me to remember that my time here is limited. And because it is limited, it is precious.


I don't know why I'm here, if there even exists a why in the first place. I simply know that I am. And because I am, I have things to do. Death motivates me to do these things when I become apathetic and begin to procrastinate on my duties.


Here are five reasons (benefits) as to why I ponder on my death so much, and perhaps why you should too:


It's inevitable


We're going to die. This is a fact. When and how is irrelevant. It doesn't really matter when and how one dies, because when it occurs, that is that. It's over and done with.


As much as suppressing death may provide us temporary relief from our suffering, we cannot suppress that reality forever; we will come face to face with it one day.


What does matter however, is the effect of one's life. When one dies, his life is sealed forever in the history of time; his contributions, deeds, victories, successes, creations become immortalized. This effect occurs when one is alive too, but for some reason, the effect's influence increases exponentially when an individual passes away. It is this effect on the world which is so important. It is why writers are quoted, philosophies embraced, art admired, science and technology furthered decades after creation; because, as Newton once said, "If I have seen further than others, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." Your life can help lead the way.


It fuels me to be my best self


I've described myself before to be a "momentary flicker of light", like a candle lit in the dense immenseness of the universe. I want to live purely. I want to be a light unto this world. This is a difficult task because doing so requires work. The responsibility to be who I want to be rests solely upon my shoulders. Who will help me become pure but myself?


On some days, anger courses through my veins. On others, depression fills my heart. Today I may be miserable and tomorrow I may feel like giving up, but I will persist. I will persevere. I will continue to try.


I will strive towards perfection, towards excellence, towards purity. I will soothe my anger and fill my heart with faith. I will embrace my misery and use it as fuel to be better tomorrow.


I will master myself, transform myself. Because this world needs this from me, and perhaps more importantly, I deserve this from me.


It reminds me to live


I wrote about death once wherein I realized a very important notion about life. The reason we are so afraid to die (a status quo norm) is because we are so afraid to live.


When one vanquishes his fear of death by fully embracing and coming to terms with his destiny, he ceases to be held back from the "mental prison" he kept himself in for so long.


He is free from his fear of death, and so be embraces his responsibility and freedom to live.


But this responsibility scares most people because we've been conditioned to have weak and timid minds. This responsibility can be as scary as death for some people because it means that the life one lives is due to choice. It means we become the authors of our story. It means we shoulder the costs of our investments. It means we are responsible for how we feel. It means, if we suffer, if we fail, if we fall, if we falter, if we cower; all of that is on us. And this terrifies some. This fear is not worth it to them. They would much rather tolerate their suffering than to take responsibility to live.


But I will tell you a mighty secret that may empower you to claim your responsibility for your life. You can become responsible for your happiness, your strength, your meaning and purpose, your peace, your self, your life. It simply (really) requires the decision to do so.


It reminds me to love


My WiFi password is loveislaw. And I would like everyone I bless with the privilege of using it to know it so.


But I am a human being. Some days, I would really like to demolish a paradigm with my fury or regulate someone who talks a little too recklessly. But I don't. Because loveislaw.


Love is what we and this world needs. Love heals. It transforms things in magical, unexpected ways. If you give 10, love will give you a million. It is our nature. It is fundamental to progress, harmony, compassion, understanding, communion. Love is powerful. It is the force that binds the universe and makes your heart beat. I have seen love at work, and because so, I am on its side. There is a force like no other greater than it. It is a light unto this world. A very necessary one.


Death reminds me to love on the days I feel like hurting. It reminds me that my heart is still beating, and as long as this is so, I have the capacity to change this world.


It reminds me to contribute to this world in some way


I'd like to get you to try an exercise. It's a kind of meditation designed to cultivate "Metta", a Pali word for "loving-kindness", which can be categorized by a compassion for others through love.


Think of someone you love dearly. Imagine them in their most happiest state. Imagine them healed of their hurts. Imagine them overflowing with an abundance of positive, peaceful, loving energy. Do this genuinely and seriously with the belief that this will work; that they will feel more happy, peaceful, loved. See them glowing with a smile on their face.


It is very likely that you feel this energy originating within your own body too. Where does it stem from? I find that mine originates straight from the heart, as if it was a portal, allowing that energy to flow forth from another place, into this world.


My life is dedicated to allowing this energy to flow through from my heart into this world. The way this goes about is numerous: an article I write, a video I make, a piece of advice to a friend in need, a warm smile to a stranger, a sincere hello-how-are-you to a neighbour, a hug to my mother, a thank you to my father, a wish for someone I care deeply about.


I do not live simply for myself. I live for me because I know how liberating that is for the world around me. My life is dedicated to the whole because I am a part of it. I wish nothing but love, life, peace and joy for this world.


I'm going to die someday, and I hope that my life; my contributions, deeds, love, energy, hopes, dreams and all else that emanated from my being helps to inch the world a bit more forward, a bit more upward. Oh, my friend. Life is a beautiful thing. I wish you the most of it.


- Christopher (: <3


Christopher Tan is a writer, film-maker and artist, passionate about self-mastery, enlightenment and world change. He writes regularly at his blog The Art Of Life, spews wisdom daily on Twitter, and enjoys posting his art on Instagram. Subscribe to his blog's newsletter to get a free book.


You've read 5 Reasons I Think About Death As Often As I Can, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Dealing with Stress: 5 Effective Ways to Distract Yourself

Note: This post is written by Stephanie Norman


Stress is a major distraction in your life. When you are worried and you carry a huge burden on your back, your work and relationships suffer.


When people are under stress, they might experience increased blood pressure, headaches, muscle tension, sweating, pain in the stomach and neck, an abnormally rapid heart rate, and shallow breathing. They are tense, unhappy, judgmental, and irritable. In fewer words – stress disables you to function normally.


There are a few ways of dealing with stress. Some people do everything in their power to face the problem and find a solution. But sometimes that's impossible to do, since you cannot always solve issues that are not directly dependent upon you.


When you realize that you have nothing else to do but to leave things to flow naturally, you have to find a way to distract yourself from the stress. If there is nothing you can do about it, you shouldn't allow the pressure to affect your life too much.


Here are five methods that will help you deal with stressful thoughts and emotions you don't want to go through:


1. Don't suppress the thoughts. Observe them!


How are you supposed to distract yourself from stress without suppressing the thoughts that worry you? There is a paradox in the process of dealing with stress: if you cut out the bad thoughts the moment they appear, they will burden your subconscious levels and create an even worse situation for you. Sooner or later, they will come to the surface with full intensity.


Instead of suppressing the thoughts, you should observe them. Allow all thoughts to flow, but do not analyze them under any circumstances. Let's see a banal example: you had a fight with your best friend and now the entire conversation is being recreated in your head. Don't stop to analyze a certain argument, thinking 'I should've said this/that in that moment'. Then the entire recreation will take another direction and you'll start fantasizing. That's not a good way to deal with stressful thoughts. Just let them pass through your mind and don't be carried away by them.


This technique is simple to explain, but it takes some practice to gain immunity from the mind patterns. However, it helps by not letting you to suppress bad thoughts and emotions in the subconscious levels, where they can cause physiological and psychological problems.


2. Write!


If it's too difficult for you to stay detached from your thoughts when you observe them with the previous method, then write them down. Use plain paper and pen instead of a computer; writing by hand enables you to focus more on the process itself. Your thoughts will start to flow; all you need to do is write them down.



Keeping a journal can help a lot in the process of dealing with stress. Take notes about your mental health and write about the way you feel every day. However, it's important not to focus solely on yourself, since that can make the problems seem even more serious. Take a random event from the day and write about it. You can also write about your impressions from the books you read and movies you see. Don't focus on sadness and anxiety every single day; find something fun to write about and discover your bright side.


The journal may help you discover the potential triggers of stress. Sometimes you feel bad for no particular reason. When you write the journal, you may discover the patterns and suppressed thoughts that caused that state. Then, you will let them come to surface and you'll be able to let them go away.


3. Emphasize the good things in your life.


People like to complain. Negativity seems to be a natural state of mind these days. Here is a simple example: you see a woman with a wonderful white shirt – it's perfectly clean, but there is a tiny mark of a pen on the shirt. Although it's almost unnoticeable, that mark gets your entire attention, so you forget how clean that shirt looked at first sight.


Your mind is drawn towards negativity, but you can bring it out of that state. This will sound like a cliché, but you do need to perceive the glass as half full.


When you're burdened by stress, try to think about the things that bring balance in your life. Maybe you don't have enough money to pay the bills, but you're loved, you love and you're healthy. Whatever the case is, you can always find a joyful moment in your life. Think about the good things and be grateful for them.


4. Be active!


Work is a great distraction from stress. This doesn't mean that you should focus on your job, which brings even more stress on its own. You need an enjoyable activity you won't be attached to. It shouldn't bring money or acknowledgment – you do it just because you like it. Think about something you always wanted to do. Maybe you like big, colorful gardens? Why don't you transform your background into your personal heaven?



You always wanted to go to yoga? Now is the perfect moment to do that; this discipline can help you deal with stress in many ways. Physical activity is important. You can walk, run, or even clean the house to get your mind away from the worrying thoughts. Try painting, knitting, playing music… do whatever makes you happy and engaged.


5. Make a change.


Have you considered the possibility of stressful situation coming with a purpose? Stress is part of everyone's lives. Why does it always find a way to get into different aspects of our living? Maybe it's there for a reason.


Every single stressful situation may transform us in good ways. When we observe the events, we realize that we cannot always make a change in the way the world works. However, if we observe and understand our thoughts and emotions, we may come to the realization that we can change ourselves for the better.


Stress may be an incentive for us to accept challenges and learn something more about ourselves. If you focus on finding creative solutions to surpass the stressful situation, you will transform it into a positive state of being. When you understand that stress is a constant, you won't allow it to bring you down. Instead, you will use every situation for your personal progress.


It's Not About Avoiding Stress; It's About Dealing with It


No matter how hard you try to suppress or avoid stress, it will get to you at one point or another. The way you deal with these situations determines how much they will affect you.


The most difficult aspect of dealing with stress is staying away from the state of disappointment. With the five methods explained above, you will learn how to get through the most stressful periods of your life and rise like a phoenix from them.


Stephanie Norman from Sydney has been a contributing blogger and professional writer for 4 years already. She writes creative and business content covering writing and inspirational issues as a freelancer. Also, sometimes she provides editing service at Australian Writings. You can follow her at Facebook and Google+.


Photos by bottled_void, churl, Melissa




Monday 30 May 2016

Viewer Automotive Questions ~ Podcast Episode 146

Today I will be taking your automotive questions. If you have a question about a car, car repair, DIYs on your car, Volkswagen, mechanic's tools, or anything car related, ask it up. If you have a car question for a show like this, email me Charles(at)Humblemechanic(DOT)com.  Be sure to put the phrase “Question for Charles” in...


The post Viewer Automotive Questions ~ Podcast Episode 146 appeared first on Humble Mechanic.

Saturday 28 May 2016

7 Steps to Repair Your Relationship

You're reading 7 Steps to Repair Your Relationship, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


7 Steps To Repair Your Relationship



Almost everyone encounters problems at some point in a relationship. It can be very frustrating to have difficulties with your partner, especially if you are arguing a lot or can't find a way to connect like you used to. However, if your relationship is built on a strong foundation it will be possible to find a way to fix it. Here are seven steps that can help to repair your relationship.


Acknowledge the problems


There are all sorts of reasons that a relationship can start to have problems. It could be that you find that you constantly argue without ever reaching a conclusion or maybe it's the case that one partner feels like they are giving more to the relationship than the other. No matter what the problem is – you need to establish the reason that are you having issues. Remember that living in denial won't do anyone any good.


Talk things through with your partner


Once you've established the problems you have with the relationship it's time to have a frank and honest discussion with your partner. Bring up your feeling that there is something wrong with the relationship and open up about the way you feel about it.


It won't do any good to be angry during this discussion – approach it calmly and gently so that your partner can feel at ease.

Remember that when you've had your say you need to listen carefully to your partner's response. If they view the relationship differently you need to try to empathise with their feelings.


Find ways to compromise


The most important thing to understand is that there are going to be two sides to every relationship. Things that you consider a problem might not be an issue for your partner and vice versa. You need to find ways to find common ground and understand each other's point of view.


Discuss what you need from the relationship that you aren't getting and allow them to share their side of the story. You might find that once you've told you partner something is a problem, they will find ways to change things for you. For other issues it might be the case that you need to find a way to meet in the middle.


Go to couples counseling


If you are still finding it difficult to communicate effectively or come to any agreements on ways to move forward, it could be a good idea to consider couples counseling. Experienced counsellors and therapists can help guide you through the process of talking to each other in a way that's effective. Speaking in a safe and controlled environment, you might find you are able to be completely honest with your partner about the challenges you face in the relationship.


Make time for each other


You might find that as your relationship has started to develop problems that you have made less time to spend with your partner to avoid arguments or conflict. Unfortunately this can lead to the issue that you are no longer connecting or spending quality time together.


It can also be an issue that people slip into a routine where they always see something at the same time. While it's good to know when you are going to see your partner, it can lead to the relationship becoming stale if there is no excitement or variation. You should make the effort to do things you don't normally make time for.


Spend time on your own interests


While it's important to see your partner regularly to re-establish that connection you have been missing, you will also benefit from spending time on yourself. One common problem individuals have in relationships is that they begin to lose their independence. If you find that you are no longer doing the things that you used to love it can become a strain on the relationship. Make some time for your own interests and learn to enjoy the free time you spend away from your partner.


Restart the relationship


If you've been through a tough period, it's a great idea to start doing the things you used to do when you first got together. Go on dates, spend evenings just talking to each other and make plans together. Going back to what you used to enjoy the most can be a wonderful way to rekindle the romance in a relationship.


Article provided by Mike James, an independent content writer working together with Sussex-based CBT, Life Coaching and Psychotherapy specialist Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy.


You've read 7 Steps to Repair Your Relationship, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Friday 27 May 2016

18 Motivational Quotes from Will Smith that Changed my Life

You're reading 18 Motivational Quotes from Will Smith that Changed my Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


18 Motivational Quotes From Will Smith That Changed My Life

best will smith motivational quotes

Wikipedia, describes Will Smith as an American actor, comedian, producer, rapper, and songwriter, who has enjoyed success in television, film, and music. In April 2007, Newsweek called him "the most powerful actor in Hollywood". He has been nominated for five Golden Globe Awards, two Academy Awards, and has won four Grammy Awards.


IMO, all of his great achievements, makes Will Smith a living legend. That's why he is one of my role models, because he inspires me to be the greatest I can be.Motivational Quotes from Will Smith


Here are 18 motivational quotes from Will Smith that I register in my mind, which always motivate me to keep going in life:




  1. “Being realistic is the most common path to mediocrity.”

  2. “You can cry, ain't no shame in it. “

  3. "The things that have been most valuable to me I did not learn in school. “

  4. “The first step is you have to say that you can. “

  5. “The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is that I'm not afraid to DIE on a treadmill. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, but if we get on a treadmill together, there are two things:

    • You're getting off first




OR




  • I'm gonna DIE


It's really that simple”




  1. You're not the only one struggling. You're not the only person having trouble, now or ever. Things will get better, and in the meantime, you're in good company.

  2. Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.”

  3. “There are so many people who have lived and died before you. You will never have a new problem; you're not going to ever have a new problem. Somebody wrote the answer down in a book somewhere.

  4. “The separation of talent and skill is one of the greatest misunderstood concepts for people who are trying to excel, who have dreams, who want to do things. Talent you have naturally. Skill is only developed by hours and hours and hours of beating on your craft.

  5. "Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they are going to tell you that you can't do it. You want something, go get it. Period.”

  6. "If you're not making someone else's life better, than you are wasting your time. Your life will become better by making other people's lives better.”

  7. “Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there.”

  8. “We spend money that we do not have, on things we do not need, to impress people who do not care.”

  9. “Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.”

  10. "Never underestimate the pain of a person, because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are better at hiding it than others.”

  11. "Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”

  12. “The first step is you have to say that you can.”

  13. “Love is the ultimate theme, but it's not just for women.”


By now, I believe your heart will resonate with at least one of his motivational quotes from Will Smith. Which one is it? kindly share in the comment box below.


For further life changing motivational quote, you can read this article:


Forbes – Top 100 Inspirational Quotes


--–


Samuel Ogundiya is a Motivational writer and speaker. Who blog about self-improvement at www.samdiya.com

You've read 18 Motivational Quotes from Will Smith that Changed my Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

The Importance of Morning Rituals and How to Make One

You're reading The Importance of Morning Rituals and How to Make One, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


Yoga can be a great component of a morning ritual. Read on to learn more!


Most people have a morning routine. They roll out of their beds, brush their teeth, and groggily stroll into their days. But if you're reading this, you don't want to be like most people. You want to blow past the average, get an edge on the competition, and maximize your potential. So instead of dipping your toe into your day, dive in head first by ditching the morning routine in favor of a morning ritual.


Defining Ritual


When I say ritual I'm not referring to secret or religious practices.  There are two key difference between routines and rituals:



  1. Rituals intentionally affect your psyche: You can't casually perform a ritual. Think about the difference between telling your significant other that you love them, and exchanging vows on the alter. There's a pressure to perform well.

  2. You must set aside the proper time: Rituals cannot be performed in 10 minutes. You must have enough time to perform the ritual in its entirety well. There's no way you'll perform anything meaningful in a rush. You can however rush routines (men shaving on their way to work for example).


Ritual connotes something more spiritual than routine does. It's nonnegotiable. It HAS to be performed in order to achieve peak performance. We already see rituals right in front of our eyes from NBA players who dribble the ball in the same exact way before every foul shot to computers that run the same boot-up scripts every time you turn them on. Anecdotal evidence is great but I have concrete research to back me up. Researchers Francesca Gino and Michael Norton has this to say about rituals:


“Rituals performed after experiencing losses – from loved ones to lotteries – do alleviate grief, and rituals performed before high-pressure tasks – like singing in public – do in fact reduce anxiety and increase people's confidence.”


In other words a pre-day ritual helps by reducing some of the tension you may feel about the upcoming day. In fact, the rituals, those researchers tested were simple like wearing lucky socks, or crossing your fingers. What we're doing here goes beyond the simple superstitions. It makes you feel good and prepares you.


Establishing a Morning Ritual


Now that you know a lack of a morning ritual is holding you back, how do you go about establishing one? I can tell you firsthand that it's not as easy as it may seem. Don't worry, I'll lay out all the necessary steps next.



  1. Find activities that calm you. It may not be the first thing that you think so try everything you can and pick what works best for you. Meditation works well for a lot of people so experiment with that first.

  2. Get Up and Move: This doesn't have to be any hard core exercise. Anything from stretching to jogging in place qualifies. The point is to move around and get some blood moving through your veins. Cardio can wake you up better than a cup of coffee and is especially beneficial after hours of stillness in sleep.

  3. Plan Out Your Day: I may get some protests from more spontaneous people, but hear me out. Planning out your day doesn't mean you'll know what you're going to at every hour (but feel free to do so if you want). It means pick one or two objectives that you would like to accomplish and making sure they get done. Why? One way to spoil a perfect day is to find out a time consuming project is due the next morning. By going through your agenda early you get an idea of what needs to be done and plan accordingly.


While those three steps seem simple enough, there is some nuance involved in getting it down perfectly. Maybe over the weekend you have time to hit the gym for an hour while during the week you can barely have enough time to stretch. That's for you to work out. Eventually though you'll have an awesome system to jump start your day. Don't take that advantage lightly. Often times the one who wins the race isn't the fastest, but the one who gets the best start. Now you can beat your competition out of the gates every time.


 


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How to Become an Expert: Lessons from the Greatest Sushi Chef

A while back I watched Jiro Dreams of Sushi. It's a fascinating documentary about Jiro Ono, who is arguably the best sushi chef in the world. His restaurant has earned three Michelin stars (the highest possible) and was visited by President Obama when he came to Japan.


In that movie, he was already 85 years old, but he kept working daily. That itself is something to admire.


How did he do it? How was he able to become the best sushi chef in the world?


Fortunately, the movie contains nuggets of wisdom that can answer those questions. Here are some of Jiro's quotes from the movie along with the lessons on how to become an expert in your field:


1. “I feel ecstatic all day. I love making sushi.”


If you want to become good at what you do, there is no other way: you have to love what you do. It must be something that you are passionate about. In fact, in Jiro's case, it makes him feel ecstatic all day. Wow!


I see this trait not just in Jiro, but in other masters as well. In Masters of Doom, for instance, there is a story about how John Carmack loved making games. He didn't mind having just the basic necessities of life as long as he was able to continue making games. That's how much he loved his field.


2. “We don't care about money.”


Continuing the previous lesson, what motivates these people is inward rather than outward. They do what they do because of the love of it, not because of external rewards such as money or fame.


3. “Never complain about your job.”


Even when you love what you do, there will be times when you don't feel like doing it. This is where amateurs and professionals differ. Amateurs will stop, while professionals will keep doing it. As Julius Irving once said, “Being a professional is doing the things you love to do, on the days you don't feel like doing them.”


4. “You must immerse yourself in your work.”


If you want to become an expert in your field, you have to immerse yourself in it. It must be what you think about all day long.


In Jiro's case, he was so immersed in his field that he would dream of making new kinds of sushi at night. He would then wake up and write down what he saw in his dream.


I once watched an interview with Magnus Carlsen, the world chess champion. He was so immersed in chess that he would see chess positions in his mind even while doing something else. He even said that he saw chess positions during that interview.


5. “I do the same thing over and over, improving bit by bit.”


This is how you achieve mastery: you keep improving yourself bit by bit. You hone different aspects of your skills until you become an expert. The term for that is deliberate practice.


The fact is: there is no quick way to mastery. It can only happen through years of effort. The key thing here is that you keep improving yourself.


6. “I'll continue to climb, trying to reach the top, but no one knows where the top is.”


This is the attitude of a true master. They are never satisfied with what they have achieved. They always yearn to achieve more. Many people will become satisfied after achieving some progress, but that's not the case with the masters.


It reminds me of Pablo Casals, one of the greatest cellists who kept practicing daily in his 80s. When asked why, he said, “Because I think I am making progress.”


***


What do you think? What are your ideas on becoming an expert? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.


#####


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4 Lessons I Learned as a Depressed Teenager

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4 Lessons I Learned as a Depressed Teenager


how to help depression


I was diagnosed with depression as a young teenager in middle school. Needless to say, my teenage years weren't very fun.


To put it simply, I hated myself. Every day I would cycle through emotions of dread, sadness, frustration, anger, and guilt, from the time I woke up to the moment I fell asleep.


No doubt my raging teen hormones played a part in that cycle. But even today, on occasion, I find myself experiencing the same cycle of negative emotions:


I wake up, dreading the day to come for no particular reason.


Sadness takes over as I leave home to work at a job I don't enjoy.


Frustration and anger build up knowing that I have to keep working, that I have no choice, that I'm powerless to change.


And finally, guilt sets in. Why can't I appreciate what I have? My job pays well. I just bought a house. I have a loving wife and a great 4-year old son. I shouldn't be sad or angry! I'm supposed to feel happy and fulfilled!


Eventually I fall asleep, hoping tomorrow I'll be back to my normal self.


Depression is an ongoing battle for me. However, it's a battle that I don't fight alone. It's a battle that I feel nobody should have to fight alone, which is why I write: to help myself, you, and your friends and family take the fight to depression.


In this article, I'd like to discuss 4 lessons I learned about depression as a depressed teenager. I'll also show how you can use these lessons to help yourself or a loved one with depression.


1. At its peak, depression is far worse than just feeling sad.


During an episode of depression, I often go through the cycle of emotions I listed above: dread, sadness, frustration, and guilt, among others. However, the worst part of the cycle isn't when I feel the most negative…


It's when I feel nothing.


No emotion, positive or negative. No thoughts. Nothing. It's as if my brain shuts down, yet I'm still awake.


During these episodes, which can last hours (I've heard of some people having episodes like these for days or weeks. I couldn't begin to imagine that), I can't function. So all I can do is curl up in a ball or lay in bed and wait for it to pass.


My wife's seen me in this state before, and it's not pretty. She knows that all she can do is to tell me she loves me and assure me she'll be there. Though she can't snap me out of it, she can be there to support me, both before the episode and after.


2. Depression isn't just "a chemical imbalance" or just "the environment".


I enjoy researching depression. I also enjoy reading people's stories about depression. That being said, I can't tell you how many times I've come across this argument


"Depression is caused by the environment. Change the environment, and the depression leaves."


"No! Depression is a chemical imbalance. Only antidepressants and therapy can fix it."


Anytime I see this argument I can't help but ask myself, why are people wasting time arguing over this?


Scientists have been researching depression for decades. Despite this we still aren't 100% sure what causes depression or how to cure it. So how can anyone claim to know whether somebody's depression is caused solely by the environment or by chemical imbalance?


I have almost 15 years of experience fighting depression, and I can tell you these two things with no doubt in my mind:


As a teenager, I was morbidly obese, had poor grades, few friends, no goals or aspirations, and a dysfunctional family. Even if I had little chemical imbalance (and at times, I didn't), I'd have still been depressed.


On the other hand, if my depression were purely a chemical imbalance, then even if I were in good health, had good grades, many close friends, and a loving family... I'd have STILL been depressed!


Everyone's experience with depression is different. That being said, to help somebody suffering from depression, both avenues--the brain and the environment--should be explored.


3. Antidepressants help, but taking action helps far more.


Let me tell you a bit about my experience with antidepressants as a teenager.


I had a lot of reasons to be depressed (as I outlined in lesson 2): I was morbidly obese, weighing over 260 pounds by age 14. I had very few close friends. I hated school. My mother was supportive, but she suffered from bouts of depression and alcohol addiction--as did many of my other family members.


I started taking antidepressants like Remeron and Prozac in this time period. They didn't eliminate my depression, but they did help me feel slightly more optimistic about life. I didn't hate myself so much for being overweight and I got along better with other people as well as my family.


But here's the thing: Antidepressants didn't change my weight. They didn't make me any new friends. I tolerated school, but still had no motivation, no drive to succeed. And they most certainly didn't help my family problems.


I told my doctor that antidepressants made me feel "content with being mediocre" (dumb phrase, I know). Instead of giving me the energy to change, antidepressants just made me more tolerant--more accepting--of my problems.


The realization that antidepressants actually discouraged me from taking action led me to stop taking them. At first, my depression got worse, but over time--as I lost weight, made friends and eventually started my own family--things got better.


I still have episodes of depression, of course, but nowhere near to the extent I did as a young adult.


Now I don't mean to encourage anyone to stop taking antidepressants. If they're helping you or a loved one out, by all means, keep taking them! I personally found the drawbacks (the side effects, cost, and feeling of complacency) to far outweigh the benefit (feeling less bad).


My suggestion, rather, is to not rely on antidepressants to “fix” your depression like I did. Instead, focus your efforts on taking action--whether that action is therapy, joining a support group, exercising, or researching new treatments.


4. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for being told no.


Antidepressants weren't the only thing holding me back from taking action. Sometimes I held myself back--either by giving up too soon, never trying to begin with, or most commonly, letting my depression get the best of me.


In my sophomore year of high school, I did something crazy: I signed up for advanced physical education. “Advanced” just meant more jogging exercises and weightlifting than normal P.E.


After my first day of advanced P.E., I was ready to quit. I couldn't handle the strenuous jogging exercises and I could barely lift anything. I told myself I was a fat nerdy kid surrounded by jocks and athletes. I didn't belong there.


After school was over, I told Mom to take me out of the class. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal, that she'd take me out and sign me up for a normal class.


But wouldn't you know it... She said no. And because of that no, I lost over 60 pounds in 3 years. I felt better than I had in over a decade, both physically and mentally.


Thanks to that no, my depression lifted for the first time in over 5 years. I may have hated her for saying no at first, but today I couldn't be more grateful.


As it turns out, that wouldn't be the first no to have a positive impact on my life. While I attended high school, I worked at a local pizza place. My sister was the manager.


One day, during a really bad depression episode, I told her I was quitting. The job certainly didn't help my depression, and I dreaded every day I had to work.


You know what she said? No. You can't just quit.


She explained how she felt about me and my depression. She also talked about the importance of work ethic and why it's impractical to quit a job on a whim--especially later on when you have bills to pay and mouths to feed.


I chose to stay. I still didn't like working there, but her lesson helped me keep paying my bills and taught me good work ethic that I still have today.


A couple years passed after that. High school ended and I found a new, less stressful job. My parents wanted me to attend college, but there was a problem: I didn't want to!


You see, while my depression wasn't as bad as the years before, I still suffered from a complete lack of motivation.I had no goals, no aspirations, no desire to go anywhere with my life. I just didn't want anything.


When I told Mom how I felt, she said no. You're going to college.


I told my sister about it, and she said the same thing. No. You're going to college.


I told a good friend of mine about how I felt, and guess what? He said it too! No. You're going to college.


So I bit the bullet and went to a community college while working part-time. A few years later I emerged with an associate's degree, knowledge, and many life lessons as a result of attending college and living in an apartment with friends in a new town.


My family and friends were supportive of me. They knew the impact depression had on my life. However, they also knew that enabling me would set me up for failure in the long run. So instead, they empowered me to take action--to keep going even after I'd given up--and gave me the strength to take my life places I never thought I'd go.


Thanks to them, I have an education, good health, a decent job, a home, and a wife and a son.


I may not have appreciated their decisions at first, but the long-term benefits were astounding. If not for their firm--but loving--support, I wouldn't be where I am today.


Closing thoughts


To wrap up this article, I'd like to summarize the 4 lessons I learned and show you how you can apply them to your life:



  1. If a depressed loved one of yours is experiencing an intense episode of depression, all you can do is give him/her your undivided love and support. Don't get frustrated at your apparent lack of progress. Accept that you can't break him/her out of the spell; instead, stay supportive and be there with open arms for when the spell ends.

  2. More than likely a chemical imbalance in the brain and environmental factors are contributing to your loved one's depression. A combination of antidepressants, therapy, and/or exercise and a review of the environment (such as his/her living situation, friends/family, job, etc) are in order.

  3. Treat antidepressants as you would a daily vitamin: Let them aid you in your fight, but don't rely on them to fix everything.

  4. Help and encourage your loved one to take action. This might mean starting an exercise regime, getting a new job, joining a support group, visiting a doctor or therapist, and so on. Empower him/her to take back control of their life. Don't sit idly and let depression prevent your loved one from getting the help he/she needs to live a normal, happy life.


Thanks for reading.


-----------


Joshua Keith enjoys researching depression and sharing practical tips and advice on fighting depression on his website Endepression.org.


You've read 4 Lessons I Learned as a Depressed Teenager, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

12 Tips To Improve Your Character

You're reading 12 Tips To Improve Your Character, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


improving your character



What is character?


Wikipedia says that character, from the Greek word “χαρακτήρας”, was a term originally used for a mark impressed upon a coin. A more modern definition is known as the sum of all the attributes, such as integrity, courage, fortitude, honesty, and loyalty, in a person.


Personally, I say that character is the sum of all your experiences and thoughts. Character is perhaps the most important element that makes up an individual, as it defines who a person is and how they react to the world around them. At it's base, character is easy to understand, but very difficult to completely define. It is even more difficult improving your character.


Why is character important?


Every decision you make either improves or degrades your character. Why do we care? Because society will break down and the way of life that we enjoy to will fall apart if all of us do not promote and encourage good character. Emerson said, "Men of character are the conscience of the society in which they live." Our conscience needs improving. Improvement that must begin with each us.


To strengthen one's character requires dedication, effort and knowledge. Remember, you don't have to try to improve every aspect of character every day. Pick one and work on it. Here is a list of traits you can think about.  Pick one that you think needs improvement and get to it.


[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7efBkyE_7E]


12 tips to improving your character






  1. Knowledge: Know what makes up good character. Many traits or aspects make up character. There can be both good and bad traits. Sometimes merely the absence of a good character trait can be a fatal flaw. None of us is perfect, but knowing what makes up good and bad character is a start.

  2. Awareness: Know thyself. Being aware of one's thoughts, feelings and emotions, is key to being able to improve any aspect of their life. You must know your starting point and be brutally honest with yourself about your strengths and your weaknesses.

  3. Truth: Seek the truth. Do not lie to yourself. Delusion will not help you improve. Having a good friend or mentor will help. An individual that you trust and respect to tell you the truth.

  4. Self-Control: Guard against irrational impulses. Aristotle and Aquinas considered that there are seven human passions: love and hatred, desire and fear, joy and sadness, and anger. While good in themselves, these passions can bypass our intellect and cause us to indulge in the wrong things: eat too much food, fear things irrationally, or become overwhelmed in sadness or by anger. Practice delayed gratification.

  5. Contentment: Be content with your lot (not imitating). Appreciate your own values and that which you have. Imagining that the grass is greener somewhere else is a recipe for lifelong unhappiness; remember that doing so is actually projecting your assumptions about how others live. It is better to focus on how you live.

  6. Brave: Take calculated risks. Life itself is risk. You can choose to avoid risk, but such action rarely yields results. It is best to face the situation, evaluate it calmly, formulate a plan and press forward. Like forming metal into a useable tool, forging character takes heat and pressure. The heat and pressure of risk and failure.

  7. improving your characterCompassion: Learn to do good and care. Watch for opportunities to extend a helping hand to your fellow person. Sometimes, just a smile to show you care is enough. Maybe the act of simply sharing your lunch with someone or holding a door open for someone with their hands full. Compassion can take many shapes.

  8. Help: Get an accountability partner. Having someone to talk to and help you look at your situation honestly is invaluable. Your partner must be someone you trust and are willing to take their criticism of you.

  9. Gratitude: Focus on the positives in life. All to often, we dwell on the bad things in life. The troubles, difficulties and challenges. Don't ignore them, they have to be dealt with, but do not focus on them either. You should think about the good in your life. Cicero said that, "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."

  10. Patience: Improvement takes time: Forging character takes time and hard work. You must have patience to allow yourself time to improve. Your accountability partner can help in several ways. They can encourage you, but most importantly they will likely see a change before you do.

  11. Diligence: You must guard your hard won character. Take care of your precious character. While creating it takes time and effort, losing it completely can be the result of one poor decision.

  12. Record: Keep a journal of your journey. Keep notes on what aspects you are trying to improve. Record your challenges, your failures and your successes. Objectively review this with your accountability partner.


Remember that to strengthen your character, you will work hard. This requires discipline, self-control and effort. Find someone to help you. Someone that you trust. Much like a blacksmith shaping metal, forging character requires heat and hard work.


Shawn Griffith is an author, blogger, coach, dad and entrepreneur. He writes about wisdom, character and common sense on his blog Down Home Thoughts. When he is not roaming the mountains with his lovely wife, he tries to make sense of the world. His first book is Forging Character, The Conscience of Society.




You've read 12 Tips To Improve Your Character, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Monday 23 May 2016

7 Ways to Declutter Your Life and Improve Your Focus

You're reading 7 Ways to Declutter Your Life and Improve Your Focus, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.


summer-office-student-work


Do you suffer from clutter? Having a hard time focusing? There's a link between clutter and lack of focus, which means a lack of productivity.


You're now bombarded with more stimulus than the human brain has ever had to deal with before. The internet is chock full of information, entertainment, 'infotainment', invitations, ads, top tens, top twenties, top one-hundreds. Your life is full of work, family, friends, events. Your mind is reeling with all the intake.


And that's just the mental clutter. If you're busy, the physical clutter, the mess, can stack up. The two compliment each other. The more physical clutter, the more mental clutter. In fact, researchers from Princeton University found that clutter negatively affects your ability to focus and process information. This, then, creates stress.


Take the following steps toward eliminating clutter. You'll thank yourself and your productivity will benefit.




  1. Do some spring cleaning  




Spring cleaning isn't just the typical tidy-up-and-call-it-good project. It's a thorough declutter job that will leave you feeling refreshed, no matter what season it is. Here are some spring cleaning tips to get you started:



  • Set realistic expectations-if you expect you can do it all in one quick sweep, you'll get overwhelmed; break the project down into segments and reward yourself for accomplishing each goal

  • Invite company-regardless of whether they're helping you clean, someone to talk to can help alleviate the dullness and drudgery of cleaning

  • Stylize your wardrobe-think about the clothes you do and don't need in terms of who you are now; have fun with it

  • Rearrange your layout-even the positioning of your furniture can be a clutter-creator; think in terms of what helps a place breathe


Store or get rid of what you don't need. Your home is where you start and end your day. Decluttering your home is highly necessarily for decluttering your life and improving productivity.




  1. Do some good




If you lack motivation, making the effort to declutter can be really tough. You can tell yourself, 'I need to be more productive', but in what way is that a motivator? Try thinking about it, and acting on it, in terms of doing good for others. Here are some tips on how to declutter and do good:



  • Donate used greeting cards-St Jude's Ranch for Children, for one, has a recycled cards program that benefits abused, neglected and homeless children, as well as poor young adults and families

  • Donate book-thrift stores and used book stores take all sorts of books, while schools will take kids' books

  • Donate expired coupons-if you have these sitting around, military families can use them for up to six months after expiration for commissary purposes; see Expired Coupons for Overseas Military and Troopon


And, donating other items that are in decent shape to thrift stores and homeless shelters is a fantastic way to do good while you declutter




  1. Create an 'important' space




Designate a drawer or cabinet for items that normally sit out because you use them frequently. Get a mini file cabinet for important papers. Organize for easy access. As the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind. If things you'll need later aren't in your visual field now, you won't focus on them until when you need them.




  1. Organize your workspace




A cluttered workspace is a huge problem when it comes to productivity. That goes for your email inbox as well as your desk. For the email inbox, setup a pending folder for messages you can't get to right away, but you know you'll need to get to them later. You may receive messages that aren't spam, but you don't necessarily need to read them. Create a filter for these.


As far as the physical workspace goes, use the beginning of each day to throw away things you don't need, categorize papers you do need, and organize. Create applicable folders, such as the pending folder. At the end of the day you're probably tired and eager to go home. That's why it's important to clean up and organize at the beginning. If you do it at the end, you may go home and think about work more, which is what we're trying to avoid.




  1. Get rid of junk




While cleaning your house, you may discover there's just a lot more junk than you know what to do with. For a while you've been 'shoving things under the rug'-throwing them in your garage or shed, or anywhere you don't have to think about them. This could require a trip to the landfill. If you don't have time, there are junk removal services. But then again, not having time is part of what I'm writing about dealing with here.




  1. Prioritize your obligations




This is a tough one. The cluttered life is oftentimes marked by rushing around to attend every event, to appease all the people around you, to keep yourself entertained. It's time to narrow it down. What's most important to you? When you're working on your focus, do just that.


Focus only on what's necessary and what's most important, such as family gatherings, dates, and quality time with friends. Keep a log-book with A, B, and C priority levels, in which you include times and dates for appointments.


Focus on work on while you're at work. Focus on your relationships outside of work. Those relationships will benefit because you're working on yourself.




  1. Practice mindfulness




Mindfulness is the ultimate way to declutter your thoughts. Above, I recommended keeping a log-book. That's so you can file away appointments and not think about them until you're there. While you're doing something, practice mindfulness and appreciation. This is the act of observing your own thoughts without judgment. It's the act of observing what's happening around you.


If you don't judge your thoughts and feelings about what's happening, you're not anxious. And, certain thoughts and feelings don't stick around in a whirlpool of emotion, because you've categorized them objectively. Start by simply feeling the textures and sensual attributes of objects. Notice your thoughts about them. Categorize your thoughts, decide what to act on, what not to act on, and move on.


Daniel Matthews is a widely published writer on the web with a passion for philosophy and empowerment. You can find him Twitter and LinkedIn


You've read 7 Ways to Declutter Your Life and Improve Your Focus, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

How the Reading of Fiction Will Contribute to Your Career

Note: This post is written by Diana Beyer


Most people hate Scarlet O'Hare. I found her interesting when I first read Gone with the Wind. She reminded me of a fellow student – totally self-centered, but creative and clever, even in her shallowness.


Other plots and characters have provided insights and skill development that cause me to realize that reading fiction enhances my performance at work. Here are six ways that happen.


1. Insight into Human Behavior and Motivation


All business school students take courses in interpersonal relationships. They study theory and case studies. If they would read a bit more fiction, they might gain additional insights into motivational theory in action. In fiction, we also find complex human relationships and learn how they unfold and progress based on personalities and values.


Good fiction all involves psychological studies of people, and readers of good fiction develop the soft skills of understanding the human side of operating a business with a diverse group of people. Fiction might provide much more learning than the Wall Street Journal.


2. You Open Yourself Up to New Ways of Thinking


In fiction are found grand ideas, curiosity, cleverness and creative problem-solving. Career professionals often find themselves in a rut, looking to the same problem-solving routines. Reading the Hunger Games Trilogy and experiencing the ways in which Katniss and Rue use their creativity and knowledge to solve problems can open you up to a new way of thinking. For example, how can you use the resources you currently have, in a tight budget year, to accomplish what you need to?


Reading fiction promotes out-of-the-box thinking – something we can all use some more of.


3. You Develop Empathy


One of the key skills of effective leadership is empathy – the ability to put oneself in the shoes of another and see a problem, a challenge, an issue from their vantage point. Authors of good fiction show you how to do this by providing insights into their characters that allow you to relate and to understand their values and motivations.


Jay, Nick, and Daisy in The Great Gatsby provide the fodder from which empathy can be enhanced, and every organization has such character types. Who cannot empathize with Willy Loman, the tragic figure in Death of a Salesman? Fiction teaches us to develop empathy.


4. You Solidify Your Values and Principles


We all find ourselves slipping at times. We begin to compromise our values and our principles for the sake of expediency. Reading fiction can get us back on track. Atticus Finch and Boo Radley in To Kill a Mockingbird will help us renew our commitment to doing what is right rather than what is convenient.


5. Mental Focus is Enhanced


We become harried and frayed at work. Several projects are all on our plates; we are trying to focus on one, but in the back of our minds are the 5 others that also need our attention. We seem unable to place our complete focus on any of them. We can ease this madness by reading fiction.


Good fiction absorbs us completely. Our brain is focused fully on the tale being told. We are training our brains each time we become absorbed in a novel, and we are able to shut out all of the “noise” around us.


Here is a great exercise. Choose a massive novel that you have always wanted to read – maybe one of James Michener's classics. Set a deadline by which you will have it finished. Schedule your reading time and commit to it. Once you have succeeded, transfer that behavior over to your projects.


You will be better able to focus on one at a time.


6. Improve Your Own Writing Skills


Your work-related writing may consist of memos, occasional reports, and some letters. One of the things that career professionals must learn is to be clear, succinct and effective.


A lot of fiction teaches good clear writing. Consider the short story writer who must get a plot, a theme, and character development all into a few pages, as opposed to a lengthy novel. Consider Ernest Hemingway whose writing was about as simple and clear as it can get. Reading this type of fiction not only teaches you better writing, but it teaches you to get to the point quickly.


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The next time you chide yourself for getting “lost” in a piece of fiction, think about all that you have to learn from it. Sit back, enjoy it, and know that it is enhancing your career skills.


Diana Beyer is passionate writer, who works at AllTopReviews.com. Her purpose is to share some value among interested people. You can contact her through Twitter.